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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421820">you're such a mess but you're always beautiful to me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Midnight_Oil/pseuds/The_Midnight_Oil'>The_Midnight_Oil</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stardew Valley (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Metaphors, Worms as a Metaphor for FEELINGS, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421820</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Midnight_Oil/pseuds/The_Midnight_Oil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Do you feel the same way about me as I feel about you?’</p><p>Sam’s breath hitches, the words on the tip of his tongue.</p><p>Instead, what Sam says as he opens his mouth is: “Do you have worms?”</p><p>Sebastian stares, left eye twitching slightly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>166</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you're such a mess but you're always beautiful to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have several WIPs but I cranked this out in a night because the new update has reignited my love for Stadew Valley...not that it was ever extinguished, I just cycle through my gaming addictions lol.</p><p>Also, there's some metaphors using worms equating to happy crush feels (ala "butterflies in my stomach") that miiiiiight be kinda gross if you don't like worms or the thought of worms being in your stomach...but I swear it's not as gross as that sounds. Though, kid!Sam eats a worm on a dare, so that's pretty gross... But I just wanted to give a fair warning!</p><p>This isn't betaed and I'm Sure I Will Regret That. Maybe. </p><p>Title is from My Obsession by Pale Waves!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One time, shortly after Sam’s family had moved to Pelican Town when he was a kid, Sam’s dad had dragged him out on a cold, drizzly, spring day to look for worms.</p><p> </p><p>“Days like this are the best for collecting earthworms,” his father said, zipping Sam’s raincoat up. “Sounds fun, right buddy?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam had pursed his lips and scrunched up his nose while he pondered the enjoyability of worm hunting. Finally he shrugged, ambivalent. Sam was just happy he got to spend time with his father, which he did more often after moving from the city.</p><p> </p><p>Kent had chuckled and ruffled Sam’s hair. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell you what, Sammy, how ‘bout next weekend we take a trip to the desert? We can use the worms we find today to catch some scorpion carp.”</p><p> </p><p>Tiny fists pumped into the air with excitement as Sam shouted his approval. Fishing was kind of boring, but he liked visiting the desert. Kent usually got him cactus juice on those trips, which was one of Sam’s favorite drinks.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, Sam hefted a bucket full of mud and worms onto his front porch. Kent had sent him home before going to the fishing supply store on the pier. (His dad would later come back with a training rod; a trinket of fond father-son memories that Sam kept tucked away in his closet even in his adulthood).</p><p> </p><p>The drizzling rain had petered out but the chill still clung to the air. Despite all this, Sam was reluctant to go back inside. His boots were coated in muck and there were bits of glass in his hair. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t take a psychic to know that his mom would march him straight to the tub as soon as she caught sight of him. So, Sam sat down and stuck his hand into the bucket, feeling his way through the wriggling worms and heavy mud as he enjoyed his freedom for a little longer. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s with the bucket?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam snapped his head up, his gaze catching on vaguely familiar brown eyes that stare at him sullenly from underneath a black hood. A boy his age stood next to the porch, peering at him with a sullen expression. Dark, copper hair fell into the boy’s eyes and he blew it out of his face instead of taking his hands out of his pockets. </p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Sebastian </em>’, Sam’s mind finally supplies for him, remembering seeing him at the park with his mother. Both of their mothers had seemed excited at the prospect of the boys befriending each other...but Sebastian had turned up his nose and silently sat on the swings until his mother took him home.</p><p> </p><p>The whole incident had left Sam crestfallen, and a little bit embarrassed. Was he not cool enough to play with? Eventually he shrugged it off and vowed to ignore the other boy too. Hah! That would show him.</p><p> </p><p>...So why was Sebastian talking to him now? </p><p> </p><p>The part of Sam that was still upset insisted on ignoring Sebastian, like he planned. But, Sam’s new in town and doesn’t have any friends yet. And if Sebastian changed his mind about being friends, then Sam wasn’t going to complain. </p><p> </p><p>He smiled at Sebastian and tilted the bucket so the other boy could see its contents. </p><p> </p><p>“Me ‘n my dad were lookin’ for worms, so we can go fishing!” Sam replied. Sebastian wrinkled his nose. Whether his disgust was aimed at the worms or the prospect of fishing was unknown to Sam. He clutched the bucket closer, suddenly self conscious. “Uh, so what’re you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Looking for frogs,” Sebastian said, shrugging. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Sam said, blinking. “Didja find any?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mmm.” Sebastian nodded, and gave no other details as he lapsed into silence. The boys looked at each other for a long moment, unsure of what to say to each other.</p><p> </p><p>“You wanna touch the worms?”</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian scowled and stepped back. “Ew, no. Why would I wanna do that?”</p><p> </p><p>Hadn’t he just said he was looking for frogs? In Sam’s opinion, frogs weren’t much better than worms. Both were slimy and slippery. Not that Sam didn’t like frogs; they were just equal amounts of gross, in his <em> expert </em> opinion.</p><p> </p><p>“Because they’re cool! And all wiggly and stuff!” Sam said, pouting.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian stared at the bucket in contemplation before flicking his eyes back up to Sam.</p><p> </p><p>“Dare you to eat one, if you think they’re so cool.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam balked. “Why would I wanna do <em> that </em>?” he cried, echoing Sebastian's earlier statement.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay if you’re too chicken,” Sebastian said, shrugging. But then a smirk unfurled on his face, a challenge glinting in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Sam swallowed and glanced down at the worms. They twisted and turned in the mud, similarly to how Sam’s stomach felt in the moment. </p><p> </p><p>Chewing on a worm sounded downright gag worthy...but would Sebastian still talk to him if Sam didn’t do it? Maybe he could just...swallow it whole?</p><p> </p><p>It wouldn’t be <em> too </em> bad, right? </p><p> </p><p>The desire to seem cool in front of Sebastian overruled any common sense Sam might’ve had. So, not giving himself time to think about it, he stuck his hand into the bucket and pulled out the first worm his hand came into contact with. Lifting the worm out, Sam dangled it over his open mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, I'm just joking-!”</p><p> </p><p>It was too late though. Sam released the worm and it dropped into his waiting mouth. Quickly, he swallowed the poor thing whole.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian stared at him in horror.</p><p> </p><p>The worm slid down Sam’s throat, tickling the whole way down. He swallowed again, feeling the vile, earthy taste of it flood his taste buds. The whole experience was absolutely disgusting...but worth it, to see the look on Sebastian’s face. </p><p> </p><p>“You actually did it,” Sebastian mumbled, eyes wide. His aghast expression shifted into something approaching respect and he finally took his hands out of his pocket. “Fine, I’ll touch your dumb worms.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam instantly brightened. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Sebastian said, as he reached into the bucket. “Can’t be as bad as eating one.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Over a decade later, Sam still has a problem with trying to impress Sebastian. </p><p> </p><p>When he was twelve, Sam had hidden away a whole carton of eggs and left them out to go bad in the warm, spring sun. The eggs had been <em> rancid </em>by the time the Egg Festival rolled around. </p><p> </p><p>The smell was well worth it though, to see the spark of excitement in Sebastian’s eyes when Sam told him of his plan. And it was still worth it when Mayor Lewis had chewed them out for pelting the other villagers with rotten eggs while the two of them traded devious looks and snickered under their breath. (Until they both were grounded, that is. That sucked.)</p><p> </p><p>Sam had gotten serious about skateboarding when he was 15, and was determined to master the kickflip. Sebastian had teased him for some time, saying that Sam would be ancient by the time he got the hang of it. Which only propelled him to work harder at figuring the timing out. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, he was at a point where he could stick the landing about 70% of the time...which meant that he could<em> probably </em> get away with showing off his new trick to Sebastian. Unfortunately, Sam got distracted by looking over at Sebastian while he was midair...and promptly biffed it on the pavement, breaking his nose with a sickening crunch.</p><p> </p><p> It was embarrassing, but Sebastian didn’t tease him at all and even held his hand while the local doctor realigned Sam’s nose.</p><p> </p><p>About a week after his 18th birthday, Sam had attempted to push Sebastian off the pier into the mass of Moonlight Jellies swimming below. Sebastian had been swept up in conversation with Abigail all night, which made something bitter well up in the pit of Sam’s gut. </p><p> </p><p>However, Abigail had pulled Sebastian out of the way as Sam went to push him, which sent Sam himself tumbling over the edge and into the water.</p><p> </p><p> Luckily, the jellyfish had moved out of the way before he could hit any of them, and Sam had resurfaced sheepishly, but safe. Willy and Sam’s mom had been super mad...but Sebastian couldn’t stop laughing, despite the fact that he was the intended victim. All in all, definitely worth it, to see that rare smile on his friend’s face.  </p><p> </p><p>Much of the crazy stuff Sam does is done in the hopes that he’ll look back at Sebastian and see approval in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Half the time, Sebastian will roll his eyes, clearly unimpressed.</p><p> </p><p>But sometimes he’ll smirk and huff out a laugh, and Sam will be floating on Cloud 9 the rest of the day.</p><p> </p><p>Sam tries so, <em> so hard </em> to get Sebastian’s attention. </p><p> </p><p>What isn’t fair is how little Sebastian has to do to get Sam’s attention in return.</p><p> </p><p>Like now, for instance, the two of them are lounging in Sam’s room after band practice. The sunlight is streaming in through the window, warming Sam’s body as he stretches out on his bed. Sebastian is resting crossed-legged against the headboard with a book propped up on one knee. </p><p> </p><p>Miraculously, in Sam’s <em> expert </em> opinion, Sebastian let Sam rest his head on his lap. His free hand is even carding through Sam’s hair! He almost wants to close his eyes and drift off into the serene atmosphere, but he’s too busy staring.</p><p> </p><p>Because from here, Sam has the best vantage point to observe his friend.</p><p> </p><p>Acne scars mar Sebastian’s cheeks, and Sam can see the prominent eye bags from years and years of inadequate sleep. Copper roots peek out from a mass of dyed black hair (Sebastian’s definitely due for a touch up, which he usually lets Abigail handle) and his lips are chapped from Sebastian chewing on them so much.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian’s gorgeous. Sam could stare all day, simply taking in every inch of detail that makes up his best friend. </p><p> </p><p>There’s usually a million stray thoughts running rampant through Sam’s head. But, in moments like these, his vision tunnels and all he can think of is ‘<em> Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian </em>’.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Do you pay attention to me, like I pay attention to you </em>?’</p><p> </p><p>The words tickle in the back of Sam’s throat, and he remembers the Worm Incident. It wasn’t the most ridiculous thing Sam has ever done to show off for Sebastian, but it was <em> the first </em>in a long series of attention grabs. A stupid dare that ignited a lifelong friendship...and a lifelong quasi-obession. </p><p> </p><p>His stomach flutters and flips, and Sam thinks of the worm bucket from so long ago. He imagines those worms wiggling in his stomach, instead of these dumb feelings he has for his friend. The thought sticks for a moment before he grimaces, because uh. Ew.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian looks down, noticing Sam staring at him with the grossed out expression still on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong? Something on my face?” Sebastian asks, quirking an eyebrow up.</p><p> </p><p>The imaginary worms tickle at Sam’s throat again.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Do you feel the same way about me as I feel about you </em>?’</p><p> </p><p>Sam’s breath hitches, the words on the tip of his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Do you feel the worms too </em>?’</p><p> </p><p>Instead, what Sam says as he opens his mouth is: “Do you have worms?”</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian stares, left eye twitching slightly.</p><p> </p><p>Sam immediately slaps a hand over his face and groans.</p><p> </p><p>“What the heck, Sam?” Sebastian says. The bed rustles as he sets his book aside.</p><p> </p><p>“No, ignore that. Ignore <em> me </em>, just thinkin’ stupid stuff again-.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing you think is stupid,” Sebastian grouses, pulling Sam’s hand away from his face. Sam stares woefully up his best friend, who only looks mildly annoyed. “Hard to follow sometimes, sure. But not stupid.” </p><p> </p><p>Sebastian’s still holding his hand. So, Sam takes a deep breath and twists, so that their fingers can interlock. Sebastian’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t pull back. Instead, he stares down at Sam and waits.</p><p> </p><p>The worms-<em> the words </em>- suddenly get stuck in Sam’s throat. He tries to say anything, anything at all, but it gets choked up and garbled.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian takes pity and shoots him a slight smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t, by the way. Have worms, that is.” His eyes dart over Sam’s face, searching, before squeezing his hand. “Unless...you meant something else?”</p><p> </p><p>A grin breaks out over Sam’s face, because<em> wow </em>. Maybe it’s the years of friendship or a kindred spirit thing, but Sebastian just gets Sam. Understands when Sam’s brain has skipped over point A and B and straight on to C, and manages to catch up with little fanfare. Puts up with, and sometimes encourages, Sam’s antics, even when they lead to punishment or injury. </p><p> </p><p>Even when Sam’s making a fool out of himself...Sebastian’s right there. Watching and waiting.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And that’s probably why… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I just...I love you. Like a lot.” Sam’s smile shrinks into something smaller, shyer. “ Like...I get this sensation in my gut when I’m with you, and it’s like worms wiggling around in there! But nicer? And I was wondering if you...maybe felt the same way?”</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian blinks down at him and Sam feels doubt sinking into his stomach where the worms just were.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah. Sorry, that was kind of stu-<em> silly </em>. But that’s how I feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian ducks his head down, hair falling into his face. </p><p> </p><p>Alarmed, Sam uses his free hand to brush Sebastian’s hair away.</p><p> </p><p>“Seb? Hey, talk to me man...It’s cool if you don’t feel the same way, I just thought you should know-.”</p><p> </p><p>A cool hand joins Sam’s, pressing his hand into Sebastian’s cheek. He can feel the bumps of the acne scars against the tips off his fingers, which is a totally new sensation...but definitely not unwelcome.</p><p> </p><p>Sebastian lifts his head a little, just enough for Sam to see his expression. There’s a dusting of blush across his face, blotchy and red, and he has a smile he’s trying (and failing) to conceal. </p><p> </p><p>It’s such a dopey face...and it immediately makes the worms erupt into a wildfire in Sam’s gut.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah...I feel the worms too, you goof,” Sebastian says softly.</p><p> </p><p>And then Sebastian leans down to kiss Sam, and metaphors evaporate from Sam’s mind completely.</p>
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